Turning the Page
by consumedbythenaturalchoice
Summary: NM AU. Bella gets a push in the right direction from those that want to see her get better. Will she listen to them and realize Edward wasn't the end all be all she originally thought? Or will she remain in her numb state, refusing to accept change? On temporary HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

**Introductory A/N: This is for experimental purposes. Felt like trying something different.**

**All quotes in bold and italics are from the books themselves.**

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer, the creator of Twilight.**

...

Get up.

Get ready.

Go to school.

Zone out during classes.

Nod and fake smile at appropriate times.

Go home.

Do homework.

Clean.

Cook Charlie dinner.

Nod and fake smile at certain points to keep him from worrying further.

Go upstairs.

Lay on bed trying not to think about Ed-him.

Take a shower.

Put off going to bed as long as possible.

Finally go to bed.

Wake up screaming in the middle of the night while also waking Charlie.

And repeat.

This is what my day consisted of. Every. Single. Day. Though on some days I mixed it up with a shift here and there at Newton's. But other than that, everything was the same.

Renee keeps worrying over the phone line to Charlie. Charlie keeps worrying over the phone line to Billy. And repeat.

I felt like I was stuck in some lower level dimension of Hell that consisted of a B-movie version of Groundhog Day, starring me, only I don't use each day to become a better person or get closer to the one I want to be with.

Nope. Not at all.

It's not for lack of desire to want to get closer to the one person in the world I want to be with. He just doesn't want to be with me.

Charlie was threatening to send me to Jacksonville again and this time around, I just didn't have the energy to placate him. There was no way I was going to put myself through another movie with Jessica. Not that she would say yes anyway. She still hadn't forgiven me for the last time.

Eventually, as I began to hang out with Jacob and he worked on the bikes, I did start to feel a little better. Almost like for five minutes, I could breathe again. He had become my fresh breath of air, my balm for the hole in my chest. It was still there; it would always be there, but it was getting better.

I was so grateful for Jake. If he hadn't come back into my life when he did, if I hadn't gone to see him about the bikes, I didn't know if I'd be worse off now or still the same. Most likely the same.

I even began to enjoy spending my time with him. Every once in a while, I found myself laughing genuinely or a small smile escaping without my initial notice. He was healing me. He wouldn't heal me completely; I would never be whole again. But, he was helping to pick up the pieces and put them back together again.

Charlie was relieved when I spent more and more of my time down at La Push. Soon, Renee was relieved, too, though she was still worried, I could tell. I tried my best to sound normal and upbeat as possible when responding back to her emails now. I felt somewhat guilty for subjecting her to my zombie phase these past few months. Anyone could tell she was happy, loving her life, with Phil and enjoying every moment of it. What right did I have to bring my neverending despair and apathy along with my robotic responses into her life? I couldn't do that to her. So, if I had to fake it, I faked it.

The only person it felt like I wasn't faking it with these days was Jacob. He never pushed me about _him_. He never made me feel abnormal or wrong for feeling the way I did. He never gave up on me like so many had. He was a true godsend.

But, somehow, the Cullens-_he_ still got to me. The nightmares certainly hadn't gone away though they were starting to taper off some which I knew to be Jake's influence and the warmth he brought to me each time I saw him. But on the days I didn't, the hole hurt worse than it had the day before when I had seen Jacob, like the stitches he was sewing carefully each visit had reopened and ruining all of his work. I felt the numbness take hold of my body, I found my mind trying to check out, to think about or focus on anything that wouldn't make me think of _them_.

But, like any addict, I had my setbacks. I was never supposed to go cold turkey; there was no rehab facility I could be checked into that could cure this...condition. And so, when I would go backward a few steps, a memory would slip past my defenses and take brutal hold of me. When that happened, all my resistance that I had been building with Jake's help came crashing down and my next visit to La Push would be square one.

Right now was one such setback. I have absolutely no idea what possessed me to come here. I was due to visit Jacob so this should not have even been a possibility today but somehow, here I was, standing at the bottom of the porch steps of _their_ house.

I couldn't go any further. I couldn't look inside through the glass windows. I just couldn't. I was afraid I would find it all empty thus proving to me even more that the Cullens had never existed or worse, that they had but left me. Just like _him_.

I knew I was never good enough for him. How could I be? I was a mere human and they were practically gods. Immortals among us mere mortals. How could I ever be enough to join such a family as theirs? How could I have ever deluded myself into believing I would one day be one of them?

I didn't know which hurt the most, not being enough for _him_ or enough for his family. Either way, the pain was great and it was consuming me more and more with each passing second. The longer I stood here, the deeper I was pulled into devastating despair.

"Why?" I whispered, not even realizing I had spoken until the word was out.

It began to drizzle, like always, here in Forks, but it barely registered in my mind. Only the pain mattered.

And it brought me right back to that day Edward had left me in the woods. Each word remembered sliced into me, again and again as I replayed them.

_**I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella.**_

My eyes shut tightly.

_**You're not good for me, Bella.**_

The rain picked up and I was soaking wet but that didn't matter.

_**You're human-your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind.**_

As if he had never been a part of us once upon a time. As if he was so different from me. He was in all honesty and I knew I would never be enough. I just never expected to be thrown aside so carelessly, like I didn't matter.

_**My kind, we're very easily distracted.**_

My hands curled into fists at my sides.

_**I won't come back.**_

I struggled to breathe. The hole was spreading through my whole chest. It burned severely.

_**We won't bother you again.**_

I panted loudly, trying to steady my breathing, trying to keep myself from falling completely down the black hole.

_**I've let this go on much too long.**_

The burn magnified and I felt it crawling up inside my body, up towards my collar bone.

_**You don't want me?**_

_**No.**_

The tightness and the heat spread to my throat. I felt as if I would succumb to it any second. The pain was just too much.

_**My world is not for you.**_

It was choking me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move.

_**It will be as if I'd never existed.**_

I froze, my body going completely rigid.

_**They're gone.**_

_**Goodbye, Bella.**_

_**A clean break would be better for you.**_

_**Goodbye, Bella.**_

_**Time heals all wounds for your kind.**_

_**My kind, we're very easily distracted.**_

_**You're not good for me, Bella.**_

_**I've let this go on much too long.**_

The painful heat clawed out of my throat into a ferocious scream. "WHY!"

With that one sound, whatever had bound my body still was broken. My head whipped around, looking for something, anything. I grabbed small rocks and began to throw them at the house.

"WHY? WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME? WHY?"

I threw with all the strength I could muster and when I heard a few crashes, they didn't faze me. When I ran out of rocks, I raced up the steps and pounded my fists on the front door.

"How dare you do this to me? I loved you! I still love you! I would've done anything for you! I would've died for you, given up my soul for you! Why, Edward? Why?"

I kicked at the door angrily. "If you didn't want me, then why did you make me fall in love with you? Why even talk to me? Why come back at all? WHY?"

I threw myself at the door, punching it, kicking it, elbowing it, taking my frustration out on it any way I could. It wasn't my norm, I wasn't a violent person, but where in the last few months had I gone back to normal?

I hit the door so hard, I hurt my hands but I ignored the pain and continued to beat the wood. After all, there was a far greater pain in my chest that consumed me daily. A few cuts and bruises were nothing.

The door hadn't given way, seeing as I was small to begin with and weak, but now even more so since I had lost some weight. I slapped at it and continued to demand why. Why would Edward do this to me? Why? Why had I fallen for him? Why had I believed him? Why wasn't I enough for him? Was giving up my life and damning myself for eternity as he believed not enough for him? Did he think he wouldn't want me after I was changed? Was I really just a distraction.

I punched the wood twice more and winced when a sharp pain stabbed into my hand. I cradled it in my left one and slid down to the porch, sitting up against the side of the door, crying nonstop.

"Why, Edward?" I sobbed. "Why would you use me like that? Why wasn't I enough for you? Why didn't you love me back? I begged you to turn me! I did! Why was that not enough?"

I pulled my knees up to my chest and laid my head down against them. My body shook uncontrollably but whether that was due to the sobs or the cold rain, I really had no idea nor did I care.

My world was ending. This was worse than the day he had left me. Way worse.

I heard a whooshing sound next to me and felt a slight rush of air. I didn't even have time to react or ponder what it could be when I was picked up in two strong arms. So I was doomed to die by vampire after all. Instead of Edward being the one to kill me, some nomad now would finish me off. I prayed it wouldn't hurt Charlie or Jacob too much. And my mom, I really hoped Phil would take care of her and keep her from being too sad.

"Shhh. There, there, Bella. Don't cry. Shhh, sweetheart." I knew that voice.

I gasped and lifted my head to see two golden eyes staring back at me.

"C-C-Carlisle?"

He nodded and pulled me closer to his chest. "I'm here. It's going to be okay."

I burst into broken sobs and threw my arms around him, crying into his neck. "D-Don't l-l-leave me. Please!"

"Shhh. I'm not leaving, Bella. It's going to be alright. Let's get you inside and get you dry before you catch cold."

I felt air rushing past me but I never looked up, only clasped my arms around him tighter. The next thing I knew, I was being lowered down onto what felt like the couch. He started to pull away but I strengthened my grip on him.

"No, no. Don't. Please, don't go."

He let out a sad sigh and repositioned us so I was in his lap as he stroked my back.

"I'm not going anywhere, Bella. I promise you that. I'm not going anywhere."

I nodded, sobbing pitifully, and rested my forehead against his neck. He let me cry for the next ten minutes, holding him to me in a death grip, and still continued to whisper reassurances to me. He promised he wouldn't leave but he wanted to get me dry. I kept refusing to let him go. If I changed that would mean he would be out of my sight for a few minutes and then he might leave again. I couldn't let him do that to me.

"Bella," he pleaded. "You're shaking. I don't want you falling ill. Please let me grab you some clothes so you can change. Please."

"T-Th-Then you'll l-leave."

He laid his cheek against my wet hair. "No, I won't. I promise, I'm not going anywhere. Unless you don't do as I ask and then I'll have to take you to the hospital and admit you so you can fight off the fever and cold that I know is coming."

I took a ragged breath and sniffled, trying to breathe normally again. "I don't want to go to the hospital."

He chuckled lightly. "I didn't think you did. Will you please change into some dry clothes then?"

I slowly lifted my head and stared right at him. "I don't have anything with me."

"You can borrow something of Alice's. I'm sure she has something that you can change into."

I swallowed thickly and dropped my eyes to my lap. "You won't leave?"

He sighed again and lifted my chin so he could look at me. "No. I promise you I will not leave this house without you."

I sniffled and nodded my reluctant acquiescence. "Okay."

He smiled and within seconds he had us up in front of Alice's room. He gently lowered me to my feet and unlocked my arms from around his neck. He held onto my right arm and frowned down at my hand. "What happened here?"

I bit my lip in shame. I didn't know how much he had seen or heard before he came to me on the porch but I didn't want to go into it. Not now.

"Nothing."

His fingers prodded at the broken skin carefully. I winced when he reached a particularly tender spot.

"That might be a sprain. I'll take a better look at it after you've changed into something dry." He squeezed my left hand and opened Alice's door for me. "I'll be right downstairs if you need me. I'm going to make you some hot tea so you can warm up. Would you like to take a hot shower? That might be preferable."

I lifted my eyes to his and shook my head. That would be too long away from him. It was bad enough he was going to be out of my sight for the next five minutes.

He glanced at me sadly and nodded once. "Alright. Change and come see me in the kitchen when you're ready."

I nodded and turned to walk into the room when Carlisle's hand on my shoulder stopped me. I glanced back at him questioningly.

"Does Charlie know you were here?"

I shook my head again. He leaned down slightly and kissed the top of my head. "Okay. I'll drive you home then so he doesn't worry about where you are."

My eyes widened and I turned back towards him. "No, I'm not going home. Not now, Carlisle, please."

He hugged me to his chest and squeezed me affectionately. "Easy, Bella. I didn't mean right now. We should discuss things first. Alright?" I nodded against him and he stepped back, squeezing my shoulder one last time.

"Go change and I'll see you downstairs in a few minutes."

I nodded again and he smiled at me before darting down the stairs. He disappeared into the kitchen and I did my best to ignore the sick feeling building in my stomach. _He's just in the kitchen. The kitchen. He wasn't going anywhere. He said he wouldn't. Relax, Bella, and do what he told you to do._

I stared longingly at the door he had just disappeared into for a couple of seconds more before forcing myself to turn around and walk into Alice's bedroom. I pinched my right arm quickly as I made my way to the large closet. Nope, still here. As I grabbed an outfit I quickly threw together, I prayed fervently that this indeed wasn't a dream and that Carlisle was really here and no matter what he came back for, that he wasn't leaving me as he and the rest of his family had done before.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I know this is a fairly common plot for Bella/Carlisle stories and I know my version is not likely all that great but it's my first time branching out into this pairing. I don't know Carlisle as well as I do Jacob or even how Bella would be with Carlisle in a possible romantic situation or friendship versus her with Jacob. It's a completely different speak to me and reading stories that contain those elements can only take you so far. So, please bear with me as I stumble my way through this and I apologize for any mistakes made along the way.**

**By the way, taking SM's canon and throwing it out the window. Not the story line of the Twilight series so to speak but certain background details for certain characters and species. For example, Bella and Edward being meant to be and all that. Not gonna happen here. I'm going with what I believe would have been realistic if SM had bothered to get the sparkle out of her eye. I don't hate Edward or even begrudge the pairing or their story line in the series, but for me, it doesn't work. Not gonna bash anyone in here, Edward, Jacob or anyone, so whatever team you're on, the characters are safe. Vampire mating is another thing I'm turning on its ear. If SM can't stick to her own canon, neither will I so just throwing that out there for the future.**

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer, the creator of Twilight.**

**...**

After slipping into a track suit I had found hurriedly, I went down to the kitchen to find Carlisle by the stove, heating up some water in a tea kettle. When I walked in, he turned to give me a concerned yet warm smile. He then handed me a towel and urged me back into the living room.

"Your tea will be ready in a minute. Try to dry your hair as much as possible and here," He reached over and grabbed the folded blanket on the other side of the couch. He spread it out over my lap and then tucked me into it. "This should help."

I gave him a grateful smile or meant to anyway. It was probably more of a grimace. I noticed then that he had changed and his wet hair was slicked back. Darn vampire speed.

He tucked a wet strand behind my ear and then kissed my forehead gently. "Rest, Bella. I'll be back in a moment." And with that, he was gone. A second later I heard the whistle from the kitchen.

I snuggled into the blanket and the couch as much as I could, keeping my body turned towards where I assumed Carlisle would sit next to me. In seconds, he had. He handed me the thermal mug he had poured the tea into and smiled encouragingly at me. I accepted it gratefully and proceeded to take small sips of the warm liquid. Carlisle was right. It was helping.

I saw him lean in closer to me and pick up the unused towel, unfolding it and tenderly squeezing my dripping hair. We continued this way, with me drinking my tea and him drying my hair for the next few minutes, silently the whole time.

There was so much I wanted to ask him, so much I wanted to say, but I wasn't sure how. It was almost as if his presence had made me forget how to talk.

I heard him sigh sadly and felt his fingers massaging my scalp, prompting me to close my eyes. How I had missed that feeling, that cooling soothing touch. "I'm going to grab some things out of my office and then I would like to take a look at your hand." He went to stand when I grabbed his hand.

"It's fine. Just….stay with me, Carlisle. Please."

He gave into my pleading and did indeed sit back down, but with a look of deep sadness on his face.

"Dear girl, what have we done to you?"

I winced and dropped my eyes to my cup.

"You're much thinner than you were before. You look like you haven't slept in a very long time. And your constitution is….weak at best."

I winced again. Like I needed a reminder of my fragile human status that would never measure up to their perfection.

"Bella."

He lifted my chin gently so he could see my eyes. "When was the last time you had a decent meal?"

I shrugged and lowered my gaze again. His dark shirt suddenly became very fascinating to me.

I heard him sigh again and felt the coldness dissipate from my chin as he removed his hand. "I'll make you something. You should eat and then we'll talk."

I laid my head on the back of the couch and stared up at him. "I'm not really hungry," I murmured.

"You should eat, though."

I shook my head. He gazed at me reproachfully but it only consisted of quiet concern.

"Why?"

He turned his body to face me completely. "Why what, Bella?"

"Why…..are you here?"

"I had a medical conference in Seattle. I had some time before my flight back home and I thought I would check in on you, make sure you were doing alright."

I nodded. "To Los Angeles?"

His lips quirked up into a smile. "Not exactly. There isn't enough proper coverage for us there."

I nodded again and stared at my cup. "I knew that," I whispered. I swallowed thickly and forced myself to ask what I really didn't want to ask but knew I had to. I needed to know.

"Alice….and Emmett…..Rose…..all of them are with you?"

"Not here, I'm afraid, but back home, yes."

I licked my lips and closed my eyes. "And…..Edward?"

Silence passed for a few moments before my eyes opened and focused on him. Sadness reflected back at me. "He's chosen to live separately from us for the time being. I'm afraid I don't know his exact location. No one does."

I laid my head back down on the cushion.

"We're affording him some privacy and the time alone he wishes for currently."

A little flicker of anger sparked in my chest quickly. "If he was just going to go off on his own, then why did the rest of you leave? Why, Carlisle? Is it because you all had to move on anyway or just because you wanted to get away from the sad little human that was no longer a distraction for Darling Edward?"

He flinched at my harsh words and I immediately felt guilty. Here he was, taking care of me and giving me the full conversation I was owed by his wayward son. And all I could do was lash out.

"Of course not, Bella. We thought it would be better for you if we…..moved on. We wanted to give you a chance to get your life back, with no interference from us or from knowing of us and our kind."

Hadn't Edward said something similar to me once upon a time? Back in the woods? About Alice?

I had more questions but all I could whisper out was, "I missed you." A tear spilled onto my cheek and I wiped it away, sniffling. "I missed you all."

He picked me up and moved me into his lap, allowing me to hold onto him while he placed my tea on the coffee table. "There, there. We miss you, too, Bella. Alice hasn't spoken to Edward really since we left. She's still very angry with him. And I know Esme misses you dearly, Emmett as well and even though she would never admit it, Rosalie, too."

A little laugh escaped me and I laid my head on his shoulder. "Rose? Missing _me_?"

He chuckled and smoothed more wet strands back out of my face. "Yes. Even she misses you. We all do, Bella. You're a part of our family. Of course, we would miss you."

My eyes filled with tears as he stared up at him. "I'm not part of your family anymore. Edward didn't want me." I sobbed softly.

He looked confused for a minute but then hugged me tighter to him, rubbing my back. "Bella, you will always be a part of our family, with Edward or without him. Human or vampire doesn't matter."

I cried more at his generosity, his kindness towards Edward's broken human ex-girlfriend. I was grateful to him. For one moment, the hole had ceased to hurt at all. Just a moment.

He held me once again while I fell apart in his arms, allowing me the time to get all of my grief out. I didn't stop until it felt like I wouldn't be able to produce any more tears, ever again. When everything was reduced to a few ragged breaths, he spoke quietly. "You should rest. I'll take you home. We can go in your truck if you like. I turned the engine off for you. I can drive."

I shook my head and burrowed myself in deeper to him. "No, Carlisle, please. Not right now. Just let me stay with you. Just a little bit longer. Please?"

He sighed against my ear and nodded, squeezing me affectionately. "Okay, sweetheart. Relax. You can stay."

"You won't miss your…..f-flight?" I sniffled loudly, trying to keep myself from breaking down again at the thought of him leaving again.

"No. Don't worry about that now. Just rest. That's all I want you to focus on right now. Just rest."

I nodded tiredly, my eyes already feeling heavy thanks to me expending all of my energy for the last twenty minutes. "You'll stay?" I mumbled sleepily.

"I'll stay. I won't be going anywhere. Rest, sweetheart. Rest."

I curled into him further and allowed my forehead to rest against the cool skin of his neck. A little sigh of contentment escaped me and a strange peace fell over me. This was where I was supposed to be. This was where I belonged. Like Carlisle said, Edward or no Edward, this felt like…..coming home.

"Carlisle?" I whispered.

"Yes, Bella?" He whispered back.

"Thank you," I started to drift off. "For coming back for me."

I fell asleep though I thought I heard him say something back to me. It sounded like "I would always come back for you, Bella," or somewhere along those lines. But, maybe I had dreamt it as I slipped into the most peaceful sleep I had had since that horrifying day in the woods. Since Edward had left.

…..

I went to move and was confused when my body met the full length of the couch. I slowly stirred and looked around. I was in the….Cullen house. Oh, that was right. Had I dreamed Carlisle had returned? No, that couldn't be. My tea, probably ice cold by now was still on the coffee table and I still had the same blanket on me from earlier. But, where was Carlisle?

I sat up and looked around, rubbing my left eye tiredly. My right hand felt different as did my whole arm like it was restrained. I glanced down and noticed I had a sling on. I groaned and laid back down. Great. Just another souvenir from Bella Swan's infamous clumsiness. I could just hear the snickers and jokes now and that was only at home.

"Carlisle?"

No answer. I felt a slight jolt of panic but forced it back down. No reason to freak out. Maybe he went hunting. He hadn't looked thirsty but maybe he decided to feed anyway. Or maybe there was an emergency at the hospital that only he could help with. Maybe he had left me a note somewhere. Maybe in the kitchen.

I pulled the blanket off me and got to my feet. I padded into the kitchen only to find it empty. That same jolt of panic struck again. I swallowed and pushed it back down one more time.

No note. That was alright. Maybe he didn't think he'd be that long hunting. Or maybe he intended to call me when he had a chance from the hospital. But, wait, did they even have a phone here? And if they did, was it working? How was he going to get in touch with me to let me know he hadn't just abandoned me? Again?

"Carlisle?" I called once more. Still no answer. The panic was flooding my senses now. _You're being stupid, Bella. He's around somewhere. He wouldn't just leave you without telling you. He promised you. He's not…..Edward._ The hole flared slightly at the thought of his name.

My breaths started coming faster as I made my way to the front door to look outside to see if his car was still there.

"I'm right here, Bella."

I turned and saw him at the top of the stairs, smiling at me.

I nodded and let out a breath. "Oh. Okay."

He started to walk down to me. "Your heart sounds like it's about to beat of your chest. You need to relax."

I nodded again. "Right. Okay. Sorry."

He chuckled good-naturedly as he laid a hand on my shoulder, steering me back to the couch. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm glad you got some rest. Now, we can talk about some things and we'll have clear heads. Sound good?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, wondering what this could mean. Why would we need clear heads to talk? What exactly were we talking about?

We both sat down and he put his arm around my shoulders and rubbed my shoulder gently.

"I spoke to Charlie."

I stiffened and went to move away when he stopped me. "Bella, relax. It's alright. Please listen to me and hear what I have to say before you scold me for calling him without your consent."

I took a deep breath and nodded, settling back against him. I could just imagine how well that conversation went over with Charlie. He hated the Cullens now, Edward specifically.

"He was not particularly pleased to hear from me and I don't blame him. However, after many apologies made on my part, he set his anger aside and spoke to me about these past few months and how hard it has been for you."

I winced. Great. If he told Carlisle anything like he told Billy, I was in for it. Why did Charlie have to tell anyone at all?

As if reading my mind, Carlisle continued, "He's worried about you, Bella. Very worried. You're not eating which is evidenced from the weight loss you've undergone since I last saw you. You're not sleeping well which is evidenced by the deep dark circles under your eyes. You're not going out, not taking proper care of yourself which is evidenced by the very pale shade of your skin. You're almost as pale as me," he chuckled but then was serious once again. "It's quite evident that our departure has had more of a severe impact on you than we would have ever imagined."

I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder. "Let me guess, you want me to see a shrink, too?"

"Well, a person to talk to might not be a bad idea. But only if you feel comfortable with it."

I snorted. "I can't exactly tell them I'm depressed because I miss my vampire family. That sounds like an episode of Dr. Phil or something."

"Or Maury Povich."

I grinned. "Or Jerry Springer."

"Or Steve Wilkos."

"Nah, then it would have to be 'I slept with my vampire boyfriend's brother and got pregnant with demon spawn that turns out to be my new sister witch who sleeps with my werewolf ex-boyfriend."

"You saw that episode?"

I giggled and bit my lip. "Of course not. I'm just planning ahead for the future, knowing what to expect and everything."

"Remind me to keep you away from Emmett and Jasper then," he laughed.

I smiled and hugged his arm but it slowly faded as my last memory of Jasper replayed in my mind. "Carlisle?"

"Yes?"

"How is…..Jasper doing?"

He sighed and laid his cheek against my hair. "He's doing remarkably well. He gets better every day and keeps himself under control. He's taken to hunting more often than he had when we lived here. It helps to lower the risk of him…..losing control again."

I nodded. "Good. I'm glad he's doing better."

"He regrets tremendously what occurred on your birthday. He blames himself for your separation from Edward."

I sighed and took Carlisle's hand. "He shouldn't. He can't help it. He didn't do anything wrong and I was okay." I sighed again and stared at our hands. "He didn't make Edward leave. I did."

Carlisle's head snapped towards me. "The fault doesn't lie with you, Bella. Or Jasper or even Edward. There is no fault. All of you are blameless. It was just an unfortunate incident that occurred, confirming Edward's initial fears about your relationship. He just wants you to be safe and he did what he thought was best."

I didn't agree with that sentiment. I knew I was to blame. After all, if I hadn't been so clumsy and given myself a paper cut, none of this would have happened. And Edward wanted me to be safe? Sure didn't sound like it when he asked me not to be reckless for Charlie's sake alone. I wondered, just how much Edward had told his family about what happened in the woods that day he left? Knowing Alice, she would have seen it but would she have known exactly what he said?

"Well, I'm as safe as could be now so no worry there," I grumbled bitterly.

"With your track record," he laughed. "I don't think the word safe really applies to you." He nodded towards my new accessory on my arm. "Full sprain. Wearing that for a few weeks is essential. You're a walking hazard, my dear."

I shot up and frowned at him. "Hey!"

He laughed again and hugged me once more.

"Teasing me, are you? You're so lucky vampires don't have any ticklish spots because I'm in the prime position to attack." My voice came out muffled since he had my face turned into his chest.

"You're right, we don't. But humans do." I heard the smirk in his voice and tried to pull away. "Oh no, you don't!" I tried to squirm out of his hold but it was useless. "Don't you dare, Carlisle."

Said smirk from before was reflecting back at me as I felt his fingers dig mercilessly into my sides. I shrieked and tried to pull away. I twisted this way and that way but to no avail. I was running out of air from laughing so hard and gasping for him to stop.

A minute later, he let up and I tried to catch my breath. I scrambled off of him and glared in his direction. His smirk was still there.

"Picking on the injured? Taking advantage of me being incapacitated at the moment? Not nice, Dr. Cullen. Just you wait. I'll get you back for that. "

He smirked wider and nodded his head. "I'll do my very best to act afraid when you do."

I narrowed my eyes at him in disapproval and he chuckled when I crawled back over to him and hung onto his arm.

"It's nice to see you laugh. You should do it more often."

I shrugged. "Thanks but there is no way I'm settling for random tickle attacks. How are you at jokes?"

He let out a laugh and rubbed my shoulder. "Don't worry, no more tickling and no joke-telling. I'm horrible at jokes. I always tell them incorrectly."

"Says the guy with the perfect brain that never forgets anything. I tend to doubt your assessment of your comedic skills."

"Not so perfect," he smiled. "But, seriously, Bella, you need to laugh more and enjoy your life. This depression and sadness isn't good for you."

I sighed sadly, knowing the fun moment was over and I couldn't avoid this talk anymore. "I know it's not, but…..I feel so lost without you guys and…..Edward. I feel like a huge part of me is missing. When all of you were gone, I just felt like that was it. There was nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for. It felt like I would never smile or laugh or know happiness ever again. I just feel so…..empty without him."

He thought about this quietly for a few minutes while I took comfort from his gentle touches of reassurance.

"You're wrong, Bella. There is so much to look forward to, to hope for. Going away to school, learning about something you love and succeeding, falling in love again, marriage and children down the road. There's so many good things just waiting for you to allow them to come your way."

I turned to look up at him. "But, I don't want any of those things…..without Edward."

He frowned and turned to stare out the window in front of us. "Your father tells me that he offered for you to go and stay with your mother and stepfather in Florida but you refused. Does that not appeal to you at all?"

I shook my head. "I don't want to leave…..here." The rest of my statement went unsaid but we both knew what the tail end was. _So Edward can find me when he comes back. If he comes back._

He nodded but stayed silent. I laid my head back down and waited for him to say something, anything.

"I'll be honest with you, Bella," My eyes snapped up to his, the cool golden burning into my plain brown. "I don't feel comfortable leaving you here in such a state without any intervention. Your father appears ill-equipped to handle the situation."

I went to protest when he held up a hand, silencing me. "I'm not insulting him or trying to imply he cannot take care of you. I only meant that he feels very overwhelmed when it comes to dealing with this. He's not certain which step to take next to help you out of this…..depression. Your father is a fine man, Bella, but the situation being as it is and him not knowing about us being who we are, it might be better for you if I were to stay here for a little while longer."

The guilt consumed me as I thought about Charlie being so overwhelmed that he would confess all of this to Carlisle of all people. He hated the Cullens yet I had literally worn him down to that point of desperation. But then my heart stopped. Was Carlisle saying what I thought he was saying?

"You'll stay? You won't leave?"

"I'll stay for a little while until you can get back on your feet," He smiled warmly at me. "And stay there."

I rolled my eyes and he chuckled. "Plus, I'd like to be able to check that sprain in a few weeks, make sure it's doing okay."

I grimaced down at my bound hand and nodded. "Will they all…..come back?"

He contemplated it. "I'm going to leave them where they are for now. They just settled into a new school system and even though they could come back here for a short time and then go back, it might be too suspicious and raise too many questions. So, no, I don't think I'll be asking them to join me just yet."

Disappointment filled my being but I understood his reasoning. It made sense not to arouse any suspicion here or in the place they now were. And then guilt overlapped the disappointment as I thought of the ramifications.

"Carlisle, what about you? You're going to be away from your them and Esme….I don't want to take you away from them."

He smiled in understanding. "They'll be alright with my decision, especially if it's to help you. Don't worry, Esme understands perfectly. This time apart won't change anything."

I bit my lip nervously. "Are you sure?"

"It's not even a concern. We know what we mean to each other and that's not something that will fade with time."

I smiled tightly. "You're very lucky, Carlisle. You and Esme both." At least Esme would never be told she wasn't good for Carlisle. I was thankful for her for that.

He smiled his thanks. "I rather think I'm the lucky one in that scenario but I thank you just the same. Now," He glanced down at his watch and stood up, pulling me to my feet at the same time. "Why don't we take my car and I'll drive you back home? I can drop off your truck later tonight."

"You wouldn't mind?"

He smiled wider. "Not at all. We can pick up some food for you on the way." I went to protest and again he stopped me. "Doctor's orders."

I glared at him but kept quiet, making him laugh once more. I went to clean up but he laid his hand on my shoulder. "Leave it. I'll take care of it later." He handed me a bag and with a quick glance, I saw my clothes in there.

"Thank you," I whispered.

He smiled and gestured to the door. "Shall we?"

I nodded and went to leave when he grabbed an umbrella and opened it once we were on the porch. I smiled gratefully at him and we walked towards his car.

"So, Bella," I turned to him with my brows arched in a questioning manner. "A vampire, a witch and a werewolf walk into a bar…."

I laughed as he continued to tell the worst joke I had ever heard.


End file.
